Get Someone To Bruise Your Face ~ A Real Womans Advice On Domestic Violence

Written by Jasmin

Even though I see the good, the bad and the ugly side of human behaviour on a daily basis, I am still a great believer in humanity. I refuse to buy into the belief that all people are bad or that the world is full of evil.  Momentarily today, however, that sentiment was tested.

I was alerted to a conversation in a Facebook group of over 50,000 people, in which people are free to vent their frustrations away. While venting can be a good exercise for all of us, sometimes it will lead to incredibly bad and damaging advice – not to mention inciting someone to commit an illegal and utterly immoral act.

A woman complaining about her relationship disputes over child custody with her ex partner had quite innocently asked for advice. However, the advice she got was quite simply frightening.

On legal advice I am not using the name of the person involved, however her profile indicates she works for the Department of Education and has studied Psychology.

Get someone to bruise your face

Get in first.

Accuse him of child abuse, get a violence restraining order beforehand and take the seat of power.

Get someone to bruise your face and stuff, go to a doctor to get a report.

This is the advice given by a woman to another in a group of over 50,000 people.

She goes on

The game is get a VRO and be very convincing

Get a VRO

Then u got him by the balls

Then you got him by the balls


Thankfully, the majority of the commenters were attempting to silence or correct this woman and the original poster stated that she refused to follow these instructions. However, a number of things come to light here.

This is pure, clean and (at this point) LIVE evidence of what those of us campaigning for the rights of men’s and father’s rights have been saying.


When people tell a lie they have a tendency to invest into that lie to ease their own conscience. They know it’s not true, but the more they tell it over the years the more it becomes factual to them and everyone they share it with. This phenomena is known as cognitive dissonance, and it is rife.

Upon his retirement, Justice Collier made this statement to the Sydney Morning Herald

”When you have heard the evidence, you realise that this is a person who’s so determined to win that he or she will say anything. I’m satisfied that a number of people who have appeared before me have known that it is one of the ways of completely shutting husbands out of the child’s life.

”It’s a horrible weapon.”

And yet time and time again women’s lobby groups insist that this doesn’t happen. They insist that this opinion is ‘an extreme tactic by men’s groups to derail the domestic violence conversations’. 

A woman taking this advice will add to the domestic violence ‘statistics’. She will take away precious police resources from genuine victims. She will clog up the already exhausted court system. And she will ruin the life of an innocent man, who now will have a far greater likelihood of suicide. Of course she will also alter the course of the children’s lives forever and in one of the most inhumane and damaging ways.

Given the potential power of this woman’s professional position, and the volume of people she could be infecting with this advice every day, this could be catastrophic for thousands of people.

As someone who works voluntarily in support for the men who are most often the ones impacted by these vexatious claims, a chunk of my heart is broken. It’s not that I don’t know it or believe it, I hear it repeatedly – but to see live evidence of such a despicable person is just a very sad state of what humanity has become, at least to some.

As an advocate for shared and / or flexible parenting, I say to all going through relationship breakdown: For The Kids Sake – sort out your problems. Both of you.

This is not a game, this is life and death.

This matter is being reported to the applicable State police

Your support is greatly appreciated so I can continue to support men and their children and fight this abhorrent injustice.




About the author


Jasmin is a specialist men’s coach who supports men in all aspects of relationships, but specifically those who are going through high conflict separation and divorce. She is also a dedicate advocate for services for men and their children who have been victims of domestic violence and abuse.

Jasmin helps men who are struggling and feeling lost and alone, to move to a place of acceptance and confidence so they can move ahead and live a life consistent with their values and beliefs. She believes strongly in the power of overcoming past hurts through empathy and compassion.

She is a mother of two, author, presenter and coach. She lives in the idyllic coastal town of Merimbula, NSW, Australia.

*All written material on Relating To Men is subject to copyright to the author.