In Honour Of A Compassionate Man ~ This is for you, Jason Dale

Written by Jasmin

Last night I heard the tragic news that one of our own had attempted to take his own life. Jason Dale is an avid campaigner in the men’s human rights movement. Sadly, his despair engulfed him and he reached the bottom of that dark, dank and cold pit of hell. Thankfully help got to him, however although he has regained consciousness, he has a very long and possibly life altering journey ahead.

Jason is the kind of advocate we need. I have often sighed with relief at the arrival of his irrefutable comment bombs. Laden with evidence based facts, all fully cited – he never fails to hit the mark. Always on point. Always respectful. Bang on the money.

Mostly however, the thing I love about Jason is his compassion. It is an honour for me to be associated with so many compassionate people who are passionate about a cause with so many individually important issues. Suicide, false rape accusations, domestic violence and gender politics are just some of the things many of us have become well versed in. It is only people who are by nature compassionate and empathetic who can tackle these causes. It takes an enormous amount of both to look outside of ourselves and say to someone, “I see your pain, I’m with you”.

I think it’s fair to say however, Jason is most passionate about stopping male genital mutilation. It’s possibly the most difficult topic of all to raise and one he bravely tackled. Genital integrity for men is one of those things most people just want to go away and not have to deal with – either through their own shame, or guilt or just complete lack of empathy for another’s point of view. Fighting empathy devoid feminists is hard enough on this, but there are also some men who believe it’s a non issue. At the end of the day, just because it doesn’t affect you it doesn’t mean it’s not an issue worthy of respect for others. This point is what so many fail to see.

Like so many of his friends, I feel powerless right now. He is in a hospital in Durban, South Africa, and we are very far away.

In January this year, Jason made a post in which he tagged myself and others. I was honoured to be included amongst his close friends with whom he wished to share his journey. I want to share this with you now, so you see the man I know, love and respect. This is what he wrote:

Many of you whom I have tagged in this message are on my friend’s list. A few of you are people whom I only know of indirectly through friends, family members, acquaintances, individuals I train with, through my activism work, et cetera.

Some of you know me more personally, which means that you will have a better understanding of who I am, what I do, why I do it and why I post the things that I sometimes post. Some of you on the other hand don’t know me all that well and you won’t necessarily have that understanding, so before I discuss an extremely disturbing event which took place over the festive season during a luncheon I was invited to, I would like to give you a relatively brief personal introduction.

Officially, I am a full time Information Technology specialist, and in a career spanning almost 2 decades I have fulfilled roles which have included computer programming, system administration, systems analysis and design, technical support, capacity management/planning and business intelligence. My own alma mater rated me as one of the top UNIX shell scripting developers in South Africa (Academy of Computer Education, CEO Linda Hedley). I have also worked in university environments with a team of professors on projects outside of my immediate field, such as Intellectual Property. My extra mural activities include the Martial Arts and up until just recently, volunteer sea rescue work.

Unofficially, I am a Men’s Human Rights Activist (MHRA) who forms part of a growing global movement of both men and women who combat Feminism and its toxic ideologies which have been promoting the cultural hatred of men and boys for decades, resulting in a social climate which festers a malignant hostility towards all forms and expressions of masculinity or male heterosexuality. I am an author and contributor to the National Coalition For Men (NCFM) as well as an administrator and member of the Men’s Media Library FaceBook group; headed up by a personal friend and fellow countryman of mine – James Chapman.

I am not writing all of this to blow my own trumpet. I am writing this to impress upon you that what I have and what I have achieved in my life was not given to me on a silver platter as a result of “WHITE MALE PRIVILEGE” or any other idiotic nonsense which so many feminists have accused me of. Quite the contrary, I have been denied prefecture at school, refused admission to the Air Force and other job opportunities and I have even been retrenched twice to the point of homelessness – as a direct result of being a white man.

To share a little more, I experienced extreme emotional and physical abuse at the hands of a borderline personality disordered sister all the way through my childhood. I have been inappropriately groped by a female boss in front of colleagues in an otherwise all-female department. I have even been through multiple instances of childhood sexual abuse (which also included my sister). While most were sleeping during the midnight hours of Christmas day in 2014, I was engaging the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs agency in the United States after their disgusting response to my enquiry about the DULUTH model. That’s just the tip of the iceberg!

Similarly, I am not writing this to solicit your pity. I am writing this to impress upon you the fact that I am not an “arm chair expert” when it comes to my activism work. I write from a place of personal experience.

By the way, my story is MILD compared to the stories of many of the men and boys I have spoken to or have been made aware of. This is also one of the main reasons why I have been divulging personal information over the past few months – including details and experiences which I have kept quiet about for most of my life. Hopefully, more men and boys will follow this example and start opening up about their own experiences, because until they do; the ubiquituos social narrative that men are inherently oppressive abusers and women are inherently oppressed victims will continue to persist and spread.

The pro-feminist media has been FLOODING magazines, movies, TV programs, blogs, social media and other forms of physical and digital content with male-bashing rhetoric for as far back as I can remember. I often hear females in work and social settings making snarky and demeaning comments about men and boys. The good things are usually ignored or swept under the proverbial rug, while any opportunity to typecast all males as stupid, abusive, inept and bumbling deadbeats is readily siezed by Feminist ideologues and organizations alike – either for personal amusement, financial gain or to punt a political agenda.

Like many quintessential gentlemen, I remained silent about all of this socio-political carnage, and for me it had to take an ex-girlfriend and female sociopath by the name of Antoinette Scherman to finally break the silence and speak up. Walking away like a stoic Lancelot or a smiling Buddha is not only ineffective but counter-productive.

That is also why I wanted to share with all of you that disturbing event which I allluded to earlier, and event which actually took place during Christmas lunch during a day in which Christians celebrate the birth of a messiah who – according to Christian belief – loved the world so much that he was willing to pay the ultimate price in order to save humanity.

Spectacularly and ironically, it was on this very day that one male-hating woman told me that “MEN LACK COMPASSION” – and she said this sitting next to an elderly, soft-hearted and soft-spoken gentleman who was clearly hurt by her comments.

When I responded with “BULLSHIT!” followed by examples of care-giving volunteer services which are overwhelmingly male such as the rescue services (fire fighting, sea rescue, mountain rescue, etc.) another male-hating feminist wannabe sitting right next to me retorted that her theory is that these men have “HERO SYNDROME!!”

In other words, when men DO NOT do good things, it’s because they lack compassion. But when they DO GOOD THINGS to help others, they have a “syndrome” which needs to be cured. UNBELIEVEABLE!

Clearly, it is impossible to please those whose hearts are filled with hatred, prejudice and bigotry.

The time is well overdue for men (and the WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM) to START SPEAKING UP. Raise your voices and be heard. Show all of these baying, mewing and froth-spewing agents of division and destruction that you will NOT tolerate them or their hateful creed. Men should be PROUD to be male, just as women should be PROUD to be female without either gender trying to denigrate or compete with each other. Men and women should be walking hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder in their jourey as souls having a human experience. BOTH masculinity and femininity are sacred and important, and BOTH men and women deserve to be loved and respected.

Failure to stand up for these ideals will eventually result in the complete destruction of not only the family unit, but society itself. I assure you, I am not exaggerating.

As Tim Goldich (“Loving Men, Respecting Women: The Future of Gender Politics”) astutely points out, casual everyday misandry is the worst kind of misandry, and in the limited amount of time that I have, I will no longer politely capitulate or walk away in the hopes of keeping the peace.

I trust that this puts things in perspective.

 

Jason, on behalf of your wide network of friends I would like to say this: We all love and respect you. We know the courage it took for you to find the peace in yourself to do what you did. There is no judgment, only hope that one day we can all meet, embrace our friendships, and enjoy your company again ~ in this life. If you can give nothing more to the MHRM because you have already given enough, then we will continue to give for you, with respect and admiration for your contributions.

Your healing will come in the time and space it needs. You’ll probably fight it, want it faster, wish it slower, and sometimes wish you didn’t have it. But it will happen in the time it is meant to – and we as your friends, will be here for the duration.

With love x

Please feel free leave a comment for Jason to wish him well. 

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About the author

Jasmin

Jasmin is a specialist men’s coach who supports men in all aspects of relationships, but specifically those who are going through high conflict separation and divorce. She is also a dedicate advocate for services for men and their children who have been victims of domestic violence and abuse.

Jasmin helps men who are struggling and feeling lost and alone, to move to a place of acceptance and confidence so they can move ahead and live a life consistent with their values and beliefs. She believes strongly in the power of overcoming past hurts through empathy and compassion.

She is a mother of two, author, presenter and coach. She lives in the idyllic coastal town of Merimbula, NSW, Australia.

*All written material on Relating To Men is subject to copyright to the author.