When countering dominant social narratives it is common and expected that there are considerable questions from an outsiders perspective. Here are my answers to the most frequent I see.
If you are not a feminist, are you against equality rights for women?
Not at all. I take a more egalitarian view on gender relations in so much as I want to see a world where the masculine and feminine are respected equally. While feminism presents as being about equality, what it demonstrates is equality of female terms only.
Are you a men’s rights activist (MRA)?
I did once refer to myself as an MRA because I naively thought that it should be acceptable to be pro men’s rights in the same way I am pro women’s rights. However, I no longer use that label as I think it’s un beneficial for us to be labeled and pigeon holed in social movements where there are considerable variables on approaches.
Does domestic violence really happen to men?
Yes. Data has shown invariably in Australia that 1 in 3 victims of domestic violence are males. This applies across the board to every study in the past decade which has included males in the data collection.
What do you mean by reciprocal violence?
The Partner Abuse State of Knowledge project comprises of 1700 peer reviewed studies on intimate partner violence. The findings of this showed that “Among large population samples, 57.9% of IPV reported was bi-directional, 42% unidirectional; 13.8% of the unidirectional violence was male to female (MFPV), 28.3% was female to male (FMPV)”
How can you help women understand men better?
I believe there is a great misunderstanding across society about the issues facing men and boys. We’ve been fed a dominant narrative for so long that dictated we must do everything for women, that we’ve forgotten that we must be present for men too. This is why I created my workshop “Relating To Men ~ Better”
How do I get my partner to talk more?
It sometimes sounds a little rude, but my primary answer is that women simply have to be prepared to listen more intently and with empathy.
Can you give legal advice?
No, only a Lawyer can do that. In some instances I can help guide you to services and support groups for men going through family law matters, or I can help you find recommendations for Lawyers within your area.
Why do feminists attack you?
I think because I don’t subscribe to the victim mentality of 3rd wave feminism, many feminists find it hard to relate to me. The reality is that I am everything feminism is supposed to represent today. I am aware of my own abilities, I am confident and strong and liberally minded. However, what I don’t subscribe to is any sense of oppression or victimisation based on my gender. In fact, I think women today are quite privileged.