The 3 Fears Of Moving On

Written by Jasmin

Sometimes, when all has been said and done, and there is no more to be done – it’s time to move on.  It can be incredibly painful to reach this point, for both of you.  Especially if you are not as emotionally ready as your partner.

You both have fears and insecurities about who you are, and what you have become.  Largely that has come about from much of the degradation of your marriage.

I discovered first hand that being prepared to move is absolutely about  improving your level of self worth. This is something we hardly ever address throughout our lives, yet it’s what is eroded in us over time, or in many cases, was never really there to start with.
Here are some thoughts on the most common things that come up in coaching for when people are making that next step.

Will I Always Be Alone? 

Well the answer to this lays within, because we are never really alone.  I don’t mean this in a God like way – I mean this in a way that we have many other connections, not the least of which should be within us.  I personally found a great deal of comfort in my friends when I first became single again.  I made some very close connections, of both sexes and those relationships continue to thrive.

But the best thing I found, was that when I learned how to love and appreciate myself, the rest just followed. No hangups, no hold ups – no fears and frustrations.

But I was in love with myself – with my life, with who I had allowed myself to become.  It had nothing to do with anyone else.

Will I be OK financially? 

This is a major struggle, and I’m not about to tell you that it’s all going to be OK just because you wish it to be so.   However what I will say, is that almost every time I discuss this topic it is discovered that the for most people – realistically, they will chose happiness over money.

We all like and aspire to financial security, but if you really look at the bigger picture –

I’m embarrassed about how I look

I know, I get it.  The reality is – most are in the same boat, even those that you think are not.

Everyone has hang ups about how they look.  They belly that grew, the saggy bits, the loss of muscle tone. It might even be the snoring, or habits that you have that you are worried someone else won’t accept.

I can tell you, when you find love again, none of that will matter.

We don’t usually see ourselves as others see us – so reflect from the soul the true version of yourself and others will see you exactly the way that is right for you both.

 

 

 

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About the author

Jasmin

Jasmin is a specialist men’s coach who supports men in all aspects of relationships, but specifically those who are going through high conflict separation and divorce. She is also a dedicate advocate for services for men and their children who have been victims of domestic violence and abuse.

Jasmin helps men who are struggling and feeling lost and alone, to move to a place of acceptance and confidence so they can move ahead and live a life consistent with their values and beliefs. She believes strongly in the power of overcoming past hurts through empathy and compassion.

She is a mother of two, author, presenter and coach. She lives in the idyllic coastal town of Merimbula, NSW, Australia.

*All written material on Relating To Men is subject to copyright to the author.